Posted by: Bruce Allen | September 27, 2007

Dear Jon in Columbia–

Dear Mr. BruAl :

Please complete the following and provide us with your political commentary:

“Because your mind is on vacation _________________________.”

                                                                         Jon in Columbia, MD.

Dear Jon in Columbia:

Nice to hear from you after such a long time, counselor.  You drove to New Jersey to pick me up and bring me home after the summer in Europe, when I had 20 cents in my pocket.  You practically caused me to miss the oral defense of my thesis at East Lansing by drinking and speeding with beer in the car and an attitude toward the arresting officer.  “Officer, I’m an attorney.  (Lying. Third year law student.)  Do you have any idea what you have at risk in this situation?”   Cop:  “Listen here, you little pissant, you were doin’ 80 in a 60.  You have the right to remain blanking silent.  You have the right…”

BruAl thinks that whenever someone gives you the right to remain silent you should exercise it. Jon. Sorry, what was the question again?

Oh, the Mose Allison piece.  “You’re mind is on vacation but your mouth is workin’ overtime.”  One of his many tributes to the so-called weaker sex.  From the way you phrased your question we believe you want us to go somewhere with this reply that we’re not yet willing to go.  Instead, we shall regale you with a few of the set-ups for this fine Mose closer:

    If silence was golden, you couldn’t raise a dime.

    If talk was criminal, you’d lead a life of crime.

    If you must keep talkin’,  please can you make it rhyme.

As to the political significance of the song itself, and aside from the fact that there isn’t any, perhaps you could arrange a small group consisting of Mrs. Clinton, Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Giuliani, say on a weekend afternoon.  We would be happy to back you up on Cheesey Piano while you do a Bill Murray version of this song for them.  Then, we could have the pleasure of watching them tear you limb from limb, eating your major organs along the way, and agreeing to agree that songs such as this are an insult to women everywhere, Republicans and Democrats alike.  And there would be one less lawyer to boot! 

Thanks for writing.



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